I’m in a postcoital headstand; with my head between my elbows and my feet against the wall for balance. According to the Flo app, I’m five days away from my ovulation date and my fiancé and I had decided to try for a baby (or I’d finally convinced him to procreate with me #evillaugh).
Then on to the next step in my manifestation plan. I type the words implantation meditation into YouTube and choose one of the videos. A few weeks later, to my surprise, I missed my period. We decided it was time for a pregnancy test, so I peed on a stick and there were two blue lines. Now I’m 22 weeks pregnant and this shit is so surreal.
From two blue lines to a heartbeat
I sat on a chair with the positive pregnancy test in my hand, crying quietly. Happy tears flowed from my eyes and just wouldn’t seem to stop. I’d envisioned this moment in my head for such a long time that I honestly believe I’d willed it into existence.
At 8 weeks pregnant, Ashwin, my mother and I went to the first scan. What looked merely like a bean on the sonographer’s screen was our future. The strong thumping sound of our baby’s heartbeat had me crying once again.
Baby Bump 1 – Wardrobe 0
We’re halfway to meeting this person we’ve created and halfway through the clothes in my wardrobe that fit me anymore. The bump has begun to expand and my body seems to change a little bit every day.
I’m grateful to have been given this wonderful gift of motherhood and I believe that this baby is a product of my manifestation. Anyone who knows me well knows that I’ve always wanted to become a mother, so it’s a bit surreal now that it’s finally happening. I’ll be writing a lot more to document the process and intend to share my learnings through my experience.
Thanks for reading,