PMS isn’t a myth guys, I swear I’m generally a nice person but when that time of the month starts creeping around I just know I’m about to bruise someone’s ego, test the limits of a few relationships and all round be the bitchiest gemini psycho on the block.
What is PMS
Okay boys and girls, premenstrual syndrome describes symptoms women experience before their period which include; tender breasts, bloating, headaches, cramps, cravings, fatigue, mood swings and then all of a sudden you’re bleeding from your vagina. Yes I fucking said it, bleeding from your delicate flower.
Google says PMS occurs during the period between ovulation and menstruation, but I honestly feel angry and snappy throughout, maybe I’m taking advantage and using this time to be mean to unsuspecting strangers, colleagues, family and the bae because I’m actually a mean girl behind this pearly white smile.
No guys, your girlfriend doesn’t really hate you, so don’t think too much about it if she argues with you over food then bursts into tears when you don’t wanna share your fries, we honestly can’t help it, blame it on the hormones!
I typed getting rid of PMS in the search engine and there were a couple of tips on how to minimise the symptoms because I wanna help women so men don’t have more reason to call us crazy outside of the fact that they actually drive us crazy.
The interwebs recommend exercise, improving your diet (apparently salt-heavy diet contributes to bloating, caffeine can aggravate irritability and anxiety, alcohol might worsen depression and too much sugar can destabilize blood sugar levels and alter your mood), try vitamins like Calcium, Magnesium, Vitamin B6 and Vitamin E. You should also chart your symptoms because you might actually be suffering from depression and misdiagnosing it as PMS. Crazy right!
Guys, here’s a tip to you so you don’t get your head bitten off during that red robot week. Be nicer to her, tell her she’s beautiful, send her flowers, get her a huge ass slab of chocolate (because she’s going to be greedy and that’s okay!), rub her butt, stroke her hair and yes you can still have sex, that’s what towels are for! And no it’s not okay for you to call her crazy, until you bleed from your dick once every month I recommend you STFU.
Okay that’s it from me… Hope you enjoyed reading this post xoxo